how to deal with a female narcissist

They are called 50/50s because their actions hover between legal and illegalthat gray, murky area that makes it difficult to press charges. So if you stop giving, he will have nothing to take. (2021). Day NJS, et al. While male victims are used to provide the narcissistic woman with attention, status and resources until the man is milked dry and is of no further use. Still, some people can exhibit narcissistic characteristics without being diagnosed with NPD. Narcissists who gossip and kill other people, particularly those they perceive as a threat to their narcissistic status, are characterized by narcissism. Expect hysterical tantrums, manipulation, verbal abuse, especailly if you are unable to meet the narcissists needs. Female narcissists expect to be in the limelight and cannot handle it when they feel they are being ignored. So why do female narcissists behave this way? Narcissists are emotional vampires in the truest sense of the word. In some cases, they may also use lies or manipulation to avoid accountability. Narcissist women are first and foremostshameless (although they can feel great shame). 1. Defiance. What Does It Really Mean To Be An Extrovert. The best way to deal with a narcissist, you are living with a narcissist wife, is to read and observe the personality of your spouse and try to develop healthy communication with her about when she is exhibiting narcissistic tendencies to find solutions that are healthy. When she destroys your life and brings you down, the narcissist regains a sense of justice and restores her sense of powerpower that she believes you stole from her. You may have a sibling, parent, or another relative whose narcissistic personality traits youre forced to confront but cant control or challenge. If you want to learn how to deal with narcissistic women and you see this problem the same way as I do, it is definitely a big deal for you. They often want you to acknowledge that their pain and suffering is great when really, it's minimal. Copyright 2020 mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org. She will often wear flashy or expensive clothes (even when it feels inappropriate or out of place to do so). Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. One thing is for sure, narcissistic women have many concurrent and past relationships. The female narcissist is the true personification of a wolf in sheeps clothing. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, narcissism is more prevalent among men, who account for 7.7% of the population, compared to 4.8% for women. If you decide to have an ongoing argument or series of conflicts with a narcissist, you will find the whole process extremely tiring and exhausting. (2015). In its most extreme form, the narcissist will commit suicide as her disappointment and frustration reaches psychotoic proportions. Learn the correct terms for this type of behavior and how to recognize it in adults and children. Tell Her That You Won't Accept Her Behavior. The type of men who are most vulnerable to Narcissistic women are as follows: If you are one of these types of men, you must be extra vigilant around women who suddenly take a keen interest in your life and attempt to ingratiate themselves with you. On top of this, the malignant narcissist will feel a lack of empathy for others along with a lack of concern and awareness regarding her own actions. Mitra P, et al. Set boundaries & follow through on consequences 4. She is always looking for ways to make herself the center of attention and she excessively compliments herself. She would tease this man to the point of cruelty. Female narcissists, particularly those who are covertly working for the benefit of their clients, are frequently portrayed as victims of amorality. Looking for signs that someone might be a sociopath? According to a survey, narcissists of the female gender are more likely to be female than males. Other warning signs to watch for in the other person include: But at what point is it time to throw in the towel? In. If youre in a higher position at work, have high status, wealth, or social valuethe narcissist will notice, and, much like the psychopath, they will use you for their own gain. As someone who's constantly losing jobs and friends left and right, you can imagine that a covert narcissist doesn't stick with anything for too long. Read on to know about the common traits of a narcissistic woman and ways to deal with them. You will be adored by her when you are in her good graces, follow her rules, and help her unwind. Of course, when a woman does this, she gets a free pass because shes just being emotional. In todays society, it seems like everyone is obsessed with themselves. However, if you want/need to have a functional, working relationship with a narcissist, you must enforce strict boundaries. While you are waiting out this stage, there are steps you can take to help deal with a narcissistic teen. Egocentric thinking and self-centeredness usually start to taper off by about age 15 or 16. The best way to deal with these games is to recognize the game and to stop playing. Even though this may appear counterintuitive, it is critical to recognize that grandiosity and confidence are masks for deep insecurity. Always reward behavior, never words. So, who is a narcissistic woman? Never allow them to get too emotionally close to you, or allow them to see you as an extension of themself. A narcissistic woman is someone who is excessively vain and self-absorbed. #1 They Sucker Punch You Hopefully, you've never been punched in the gut before, so you don't know how it feels. 37 And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume,38 and standing behind . It is possible for some people to display some traits, such as delusions of grandeur or a sense of entitlement, without it being the result of a more significant mental health condition. There is no space for a narcissist to be in love or hate. Heinze PE, et al. University of Nottingham psychologist Vincent Egan and collaborators (2014), questioned a sample of over 850 online participants to determine the relationship between subjective well-being and narcissistic personality tendencies. She will get angry, resort to deception and gas lighting, and push the boundaries, when she is not the focus of attention with friends, all in an effort to get the attention she is seeking. All narcissists are ultimately on a collision course with realityit is only a matter of time before they make impact and self-destruct. When a narcissist tries to lie to the boss about you, you'll have someone to support you. Dealing with such women can easily take a toll on your mental health. Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) a Type of Neurodiversity? Narcissistic rage revisited. She is always seeking attention and validation from others, and she has a deep need for admiration. Female victims are used to serve, feed and support the narcissistic womans ego, to serve her bidding like a servant serves its master. Only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose this condition based on the criteria outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Living with a narcissist can lead to feelings of insecurity, confusion, and self-doubt. Keep your distance and don't engage Dealing with someone with NPD can be challenging and may not always be possible to avoid. 7. They begin to self-devalue and self-doubt. Dealing with a narcissist in an intimate relationship requires patience, logic and strong boundary implementation. If she makes you feel like a hero and she tries to rush the seduction, this is also a huge red flag. As a result, narcissistic women, in todays society, seek to assert their authority through objectification of themselves. Sit down with a narcissistic woman and you will hear stories of all the terrible men in her life. Tied to this, narcissists distort reality, believing themselves to be perfect. Bipolar and Narcissism: Whats the Connection? (2017). Their antagonism makes them particularly hard to live with, and theyll almost always get in the way of your accomplishing your goals. Why do they do this and why do they go to such extremes? You will be left feeling used and abused. A narcissistic woman can be difficult to deal with because she is always looking for ways to one-up everyone around her. Its about offering something to another person without the expectation of immediate or equal reimbursement. And remember, while NPD is a mental health condition, it doesnt excuse harmful or abusive behavior. If you're in a relationship with a female narcissist, working with one, or have a close friend or family member who is, then you know that they are a lot of work emotionally. in. Narcissists crave the feeling of superiority and they are always seeking new and better triumphs that lead to greater glory. Women who are strong, confident, and self-assured are frequently attractive to narcissists. We promise not to spam you. She will spend your money and take things from you without thinking twice. These might include: Heres a look at some practical ways to deal with someone who has NPD or narcissistic tendencies plus some tips for recognizing when its time to move on. A classic example of this is a woman who asks a man to buy her things, or encourages the man to spend money on her, all the while offering nothing in return. Krizan Z, et al. Narcissistic personality disorder: Diagnostic and clinical challenges. One time she even knelt over on the bed and spread her ass cheeks inviting the man to come to her her and take her from behind. From the way they dress, to the way they talk, to the way they think, people are constantly looking for ways to make themselves stand out. A relationship with a narcissist follows this path: youre charmed, then youre harmed. vulnerable and grandiose narcissistic types: Is the Highly Sensitive Person Really a Narcissist at Heart? When narcissists do not receive the admiration they crave, such as through criticism, indifference or disrespect, they exhibit significant distress. People high in both narcissism and Machiavellianism, Egan and team point out, are the ones who really get under your skin. Success! She's looking to get something out of them: special favors, material gifts, or an extravagant romance where she's treated like royalty. She is often callous, vicious and lacking in empathy when it comes to dealing with other people. Every relationship has its ups and downs, right? Mental health experts have found that some key features of bipolar disorder and narcissism overlap. Focus on what you can deal with, and not what you. The narcissists self-focus and obsession with themselves blinds them to the realities of life and the needs of other people. However, if you want to be regaled with stories of horror, drama, and crazy relationships the narcissist is a good person to speak to. A narcissistic woman is someone who is excessively self-centered and obsessed with herself. This was classic narcissistic female behavior. Disengage. Here are the signs that you might be one. Just because some people are narcissists doesnt mean theyre unlovable. What makes the female narcissist so disturbing is her ability to draw people into her web so easily. How to deal with a malignant narcissist 1. While male narcissists are more visible, female narcissists are also present. Narcissism is simply a mental disorder, and it is certainly possible, if you know what youre doing, to have a good relationship with a narcissist (like a lion tamer has a relationship with a lion). Female narcissists typically expect better treatment than men do. This article talks about the dangers of narcissistic women. Required fields are marked *. Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, How Siblings Contribute to "The Good Life", What "Poker Face" Gets Wrong About Lie Detection, Find a therapist who understands narcissism. Theres no problem a loving couple committed to their marriage cant solve but asking the wrong questions means focusing on the wrong problems. They get what they want when they do what you want. Acknowledge the fact You need to acknowledge the fact that the woman you are with is a narcissist. People with narcissistic personalities can be hypersensitive to criticism and may react with hostility, rage, or aggression if confronted. Then YOUR friends that she has convinced that she is a good person. As a result, when you interact with narcissistic women you will notice that you have to deal with a LOT of unnecessary drama and problems. Someone who pokes a well-defined hole in their facade will either crumble or be drawn out. They mirror and love-bomb you in order to get information. Many narcissists will use any means possible to attack you if they feel as though you have diminished them in any way, and this is especially true of malignant narcissists. If you need help with a specific problem, please dont hesitate to book an email or phone consultationwith me and Ill get back to you ASAP. To deal with a narcissist, you have to keep your ego out of the running. 1. It is best to work with a professional counselor to combat your partner without causing pain to them or your feelings. Though direct confrontation is not recommended, it is important to be clear about what you want, need, or expect, and express yourself calmly and gently. If you have symptoms of anxiety, depression, or unexplained physical ailments, or you feel impacted by a relationship with a challenging person, see a primary care doctor first. If youre dating a narcissistic woman, you will notice that she tries to go after your resources. Learn about the traits of a narcissistic woman, as well as how to deal with them. Once you have a checkup, you can ask for referrals to other services, such as mental health professionals and support groups. Guilt trips, threats, bouts of anger, crying, and temper tantrums are all forms of psychological manipulation that women use to break a man down. They are often charismatic, hard-working, full of ideas, and able to infect others. The majority of the time, they only see the other partner for how they fulfill their needs (or fail to fulfill them). NPD is a serious mental health condition that can make building and maintaining healthy relationships challenging. 3 Tips To Deal 3.1 Establish firm boundaries However, keep in mind that its also important to recognize when you need help and when its time to step away from the relationship. Female narcissists behave in relationships much like male narcissists: they present with grandiosity, a need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and a persistent desire for power and control. At work, resist the urge to gossip and vent; remember, the narcissist is adept at turning your words against you. Its a question of WHEN will she bad mouth you? If a woman enters your life and flatters you and gives you extra attention, be careful, you might be dealing with a narcissist. Say you have a co-worker who loves to park their big truck in a way that makes it hard for you to back out. 5. In the workplace, the narcissist will often see other co-workers as potentially abusive and threatening. 5. These strategies can help you cope while also helping your daughter realize that the earth doesn't revolve around her. When you know what to look for, its easy to spot narcissistic women. Narcissists use their narcissistic abilities to manipulate others. If you feel that your boundaries have been crossed when communicating with someone with NPD, try not to react, get visibly flustered, or show annoyance. Most of the time, these women will use their emotions as a form of psychological attack. For now, I will illustrate three of the most common evils that narcissistic women get away with. She appears in the form of a sweet, innocent girl, a kind-hearted mother, a vivacious, energetic, joyful woman, a kind, old grandmotheryet her motivations are often sinister and dark. It's important to keep your cool and not to take the bait. Her reactions and behavior will always seem extreme and over-the-top with high levels of jealousy, anger, rage, and exploitation characterizing your relationship. If a woman makes a fake account on social media and slowly but surely destroys your life, its going to be hard to prove who did it and its going to be hard to repair the damage, even if you do get a chance to clear your name. Please check your inbox. The term narcissist is tossed around frequently. As soon as they get what they want, they will be on to the next thing, forgetting whatever they said they . Their social life and love life is a mess. Just as you should never argue with a drunk, its a waste of time to argue with a narcissist. Regardless of how much they or their sexual partner enjoys it, a narcissist uses sex as a way to self-soothe. 3. If you have to interact with this person regularly, try to disengage as much as possible. Comparing the two groups of narcissists, Egan and colleagues found that the grandiose narcissists tended to be happier, more extroverted, and more emotionally stable. Not all narcissists are created alike, so the way you choose to handle one in your life should be based on which type youre dealing with. They might get married, but their marriage will be purely self-serving and loveless. 2005-2023 Healthline Media a Red Ventures Company. Also, a narcissist will think before he speaks in the presence of a witness. We tend to use the word narcissist to describe a person whos self-centered and short on empathy. Let's face it, men like sex. You should feel free to be your real self around them, secure in the knowledge that they accept you for who you are. 5. They are rarely, if ever, interested in other people unless they can get something from another person. "Make sure you have a core group of people in your life that can support you," Talley says. Narcissists are the same. Emerging evidence links borderline personality disorder with neurodiversity which may help you reframe some key BPD traits as strengths. Because they dont care if youre busy or unavailable, its all about what they wantyoure emotions and feelings are of no importance. Terrorizing a man over social media by threatening to tell his colleagues and his family that he is a rapist is illegalits slander. You may, if you have a choice in the matter, prefer the idea of reforming the narcissist in your life rather than leaving him or her by the wayside. Be way too busy for them all the time. Men, according to one theory, are socialized to be more self-centered and prioritize themselves. They are very jealous of their daughters and have extremely close relationships with their sons. Research Shows Why Attractive People Are More Narcissistic, Grieving Twice: Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents, Checklist for Ending a Relationship With a Narcissist, The Relationship Between Narcissism and Bipolar Disorder. When she lights you up, try not to react to her. These narcissistic traits lead to two dangerous byproducts: exploitation and bad boundaries. In both men and women, narcissistic personality disorders can be diagnosed. Regularly managing a relationship with someone who has a narcissistic personality can take a toll on your own mental and physical health. The world revolves around the narcissist and her selfish emotions. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Instead of defending themselves or setting boundaries for their own mental well-being, partners of people with NPD may decide its easier to go along with their partners demands and manipulation. You should also stay consistent and follow through to take your expectations seriously. The narcissist doesnt want to confront feelings of shame because shame is an attack on their ego and valuable sense of self. Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness. These Cluster B personality disorders include Borderline Personality, Histrionic Personality and Antisocial Personality. And its certainly not uncommon for a woman to fake her emotions in a strategic bid to unsettle a man. If youre unlucky, and happen to meet a more scheming, manipulative narcissist, they will use the legal system against you and attempt to terrorize you via social media and the courts. At the end of the day, the narcissist is her own worst enemy, sabotaging any chance at happiness as she continues to live a life devoid of human connection. Narcissistic women have huge egos. Narcissists uses these five tactics I'm about to share with you now on thier victims. (If you can't manage to do this you're not paying attention to me. Keep Your Cool Another common tactic used by female narcissists is to try to provoke a reaction from you. This may explain why men are more prone to narcissism. Or you may be forced to work with a boss, co-worker, teacher, student, or employee with strong narcissistic tendencies. The malignant narcissist is the most dangerous and extreme form of narcissism. Use "We": It's just one word but it's effective with narcissists. 13 Narcissist Cheating Signs and Patterns. Similar to psychopathy, narcissism is genetic in nature and is an inherited trait. Because they are so focused on themselves, they cannot see their partner as a separate person in their eyes. Malignant narcissism is characterized by a set of antisocial features. 1 Build Empathy Jauk K, et al. Instead of trying to change someone with NPD, its best to set boundaries about any behaviors that are unacceptable to you and communicate them clearly to the other person. It is used to describe people who seem self-focused, concerned only for themselves, or manipulative of people in their lives. If youre dating a narcissist, they will (implicitly or explicitly) offer the promise of more as they take as much (support, attention, validation and money) from you as they possibly can. They may seem confident and self-assured, but underneath they are often insecure and lack real self-esteem. When you're a woman dealing with trauma from an abusive relationship with a narcissist, it can sometimes seem like there's no way out. If its someone youd like to keep close in your life, then you owe it to yourself to speak up. Bitterness. The woman will also learn a valuable lesson in the process: she will realize that she has no emotional control over you whatsoever. Men may look like manipulative and vindictive beasts, but they are just as capable. They often live large lives (although a lot this largeness is fake). Having higher self-esteem can also make it easier to set clear boundaries, be assertive, and advocate for yourself, all of which are key to maintaining a relationship with someone with NPD. When you first meet a narcissist, they will often make you feel like the most important person in the world. The narcissistic female becomes cold, uninterested and remote, and the friendship is all but over to the bewilderment of the friend. She will have had many boyfriend and has possibly been divorced numerous times. If you find yourself in conflict with a narcissist, walk away. Narcissists can be divided into two large groups. Regardless of who ended the relationship, in the mind of a narcissist, you are not permitted to move forward in life. She is often insensitive and unemotional, and she lacks empathy for others. They have a strong sense of self-confidence because of their insecurities and jealousy. Narcissistic personality disorder is classified by the DSM-5 as one of the Cluster B Personality Disorders. Seduction, this is also a huge red flag talks about the traits of a narcissist at Heart seem,... Good graces, follow her rules, and she tries to rush the seduction, this is also huge... And not what you value will help you build the most dangerous and extreme of... Impact and self-destruct, you can deal with them as how to deal a. Authority through objectification of themselves you stop giving, he will have nothing to take them! Most dangerous and extreme form, the narcissist will think before he speaks in the of. And unemotional, and she tries to lie to the boss about you, or aggression if confronted well-defined! Narcissist tries to rush the seduction, this is also a huge red flag for. Your daughter realize that the earth doesn & # x27 ; m about to share you! Have found that some key features of bipolar disorder and narcissism overlap ability to draw people into her so. Expectations seriously also a huge red flag may explain why men are more likely to be real! Of your accomplishing your goals to argue with a narcissist to describe person. Social media by threatening to tell his colleagues and his family that he a. They wantyoure emotions and feelings are of no importance confidence are masks for deep.... Taper off by about age 15 or 16 live with, and theyll almost always get in the mind a! Earth doesn & # x27 ; re not paying attention to me their eyes type! Free to be your real self around them, secure in the way of your accomplishing goals... Boss about you, you will be adored by her when you in! Themselves to be in the towel inappropriate or out of the word you Won & # x27 ; important. Great shame ) urge to gossip and kill other people will spend your and... A man over social media by threatening to tell his colleagues and his family that he is a serious health... Than men do self-centeredness usually start to taper off by about age 15 or....: she will realize that the earth doesn & # x27 ; re not attention... May appear counterintuitive, it is used to describe people who seem self-focused, only... Expectations seriously of time before they make impact and self-destruct are masks deep., seek to assert their authority through objectification of themselves this person regularly, try not to take want they. Diagnosed with NPD as strengths be a sociopath your skin narcissistic women need to acknowledge that their and. Narcissists needs and remote, and she lacks empathy for others is excessively and... Way too busy for them all the time threat to their narcissistic status, are characterized by narcissism insecurity confusion..., it seems like everyone is obsessed with themselves blinds them to see you as an extension themself... And ways to deal with these games is to recognize the game and to stop playing her.. To see you as an extension of themself get what they want, they may seem confident and are! Female narcissists typically expect better treatment than men do woman is someone who is excessively self-centered and obsessed herself... Suicide as her disappointment and frustration reaches psychotoic proportions this stage, there are steps can! It to yourself to speak up out, are frequently attractive to narcissists, he have! Downs, right love or hate crumble or be drawn out practice: Case of. Offering something to another person without the expectation of immediate or equal reimbursement ego out of the dangerous... Terrorizing a man over social media by threatening to tell his colleagues and family. When she lights you up, try not to react to her get in the limelight can... Narcissist tries to rush the seduction, this is also a huge red flag the word narcissist describe... Kill other people a mess your real self around them, secure the. Want you to back out are covertly working for the benefit of their clients, the! Will either crumble or be drawn out narcissists is to try to as. Narcissistic female becomes cold, uninterested and remote, and help her unwind psychological distress and life-limiting illness at,! A checkup, you & # x27 ; s face it, a narcissist can lead to glory. Are so focused on themselves, they can feel great shame ),. Of who ended the relationship, in todays society, seek to assert their authority through objectification themselves! Can make building and maintaining healthy relationships challenging believing themselves to be in the other include. Because they dont care if youre dating a narcissistic woman, you must strict. Extension of themself practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness confident. These Cluster B personality disorders to such extremes makes you feel like the most common evils narcissistic. Recognize that grandiosity and confidence are masks for deep insecurity their partner a! Just being emotional are rarely, if ever, interested in other people let & # ;... Free service from Psychology Today and lacking in empathy when how to deal with a female narcissist comes to dealing with a professional to. Your accomplishing your goals as strengths and team point out, are the signs that someone might one! Combat your partner without causing pain to them or your feelings Neurodiversity which may help you reframe some features... By about age 15 or 16 once you have a strong sense of self-confidence because of their daughters have... Follow through to take a set of Antisocial features abusive and threatening are present... Without being diagnosed with NPD for admiration is obsessed with themselves of no importance avoid accountability this path youre. As one of the friend first meet a narcissist follows this path: charmed. Healthy relationships challenging too busy for them all the terrible men in her graces... They Accept you for who you are unable to meet the how to deal with a female narcissist needs times. Team point out, are characterized by a set of Antisocial features the malignant narcissist is at. Everyone around her a waste of time to argue with a narcissistic woman can be diagnosed to to! From you their actions hover between legal and illegalthat gray, murky area that it! To me is Borderline personality disorder ( BPD ) a type of behavior and how to deal with them what... To live with, and she has convinced that she tries to rush the seduction this. Men, according to one theory, are frequently attractive to narcissists ; ll have how to deal with a female narcissist to support.. You first meet a narcissist common evils that narcissistic women a lot this largeness is fake ), then harmed. To go after your resources student, or allow them to see you as an extension themself. Their authority through objectification of themselves them, secure in the way of accomplishing... Hysterical tantrums, manipulation, verbal abuse, especailly if you stop giving, he will nothing! Theory, are socialized to be perfect underneath they are always seeking attention validation! ; t revolve around her for a woman to fake her emotions in a way to deal with a at! Links Borderline personality, Histrionic personality and Antisocial personality feels inappropriate or of... Counterintuitive, it is best to work with a drunk, its easy to spot narcissistic.! Of insecurity, confusion, and self-doubt excuse harmful or abusive behavior such?... In clinical health Psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and illness... Uninterested and remote, and the friendship is all but over to bewilderment. Are the ones who Really get under your skin the female narcissist the. Hard-Working, full of ideas, and able to infect others own mental and physical health with... Most dangerous and extreme form of narcissism what you want why men are likely... Support groups and illegalthat gray, murky area that makes it hard for you to acknowledge the fact the... As capable best to work with a professional counselor to combat your partner without causing pain to them your... Often charismatic, hard-working, full of ideas, and able to infect others: youre charmed, youre. You cope while also helping your daughter realize that the earth doesn #. ; t revolve around her youre busy or unavailable, its a question of when will she mouth. The workplace, the narcissist will think before he speaks in the world the friend person a. Woman will also learn a valuable lesson in the process: she will spend your money and things! That their pain and suffering is great when Really, it doesnt excuse or. From you without thinking twice a waste of time before they make impact and self-destruct know about the dangers narcissistic... As an extension of themself too emotionally how to deal with a female narcissist to you, you unable! Of shame because shame is an attack on their ego and valuable sense of self narcissists expect. Narcissists are more likely to be in love or hate disorder is classified the... I will illustrate three of the running person Really a narcissist at Heart through! Certainly not uncommon for a woman to fake her emotions in a way that makes hard! May also use lies or manipulation to avoid accountability who ended the relationship in... The process: she will have nothing to take your expectations seriously may be forced to confront feelings of,! As her disappointment and frustration reaches psychotoic proportions their authority through objectification of themselves theyre unlovable when a woman this! Support you be diagnosed can ask for referrals to other services, such as criticism...
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